Travelling is great. Getting away from things, enjoying the sun and sand, just able to let all the usual worries and stress drift away from you. It’s heaven. Hell, of course, is your fellow holidaymakers.
So first, the usual disclaimer: not every other traveller that you encounter will be one of the bad kind. Some holidaymakers are just like you! They know how to behave, they diligently follow common travel tips and they’ve even brushed up on the local vocabulary. They’re the good kind.
They’re also just… not the most common kind. Because when your fellow holidaymakers are bad, they have a tendency to be very, very bad indeed.
The Holidaymaker Who Wears One Of These
What… what are you doing? Why are you doing this?
Okay, fine, they’re more “secure” – though that’s debatable on a crowded train when everyone is pushed close together. They might be convenient, but they are also – and this is a big claim, but it’s valid – the least attractive garment or accessory to ever be created. Ever.
The Holidaymaker Who Is Angry They’re Somewhere Different
Would you believe there are people in this world who go and leave holiday reviews, and bemoan the fact their hotel was full of “foreigners”? Well, there are. These are the same people who think that a full-English is the perfect breakfast for every single day of their Spanish holiday. Is it delicious? Yes, but it’s not exactly a taste of the exotic – you’ll find full English breakfasts being served up and down the UK every day of the week.
These kinds of holidaymakers give the rest of us a bad name. They basically want England but with more sunshine and sea that comes in another colour than “muddy English brown”. There’s nothing inherently wrong with this attitude really; it’s just staggering in how unadventurous it is.
The Holidaymaker Who Thinks Sunbeds Are A Warzone
This has been a staple of comedy routines – despite being decidedly unamusing – for decades, yet some people haven’t got the joke yet. Getting your towel out on a sunbed is not a priority. Because guess what? The sunny spots in the morning won’t be the sunny spots in the afternoon. The sun moves. Why are we fighting over sunbeds?
If you do find yourself having to result in Sunbed Wars, then you might encounter the following beast…
The Holidaymaker Who Will Remove Your Towel From A Sunbed
Who hurt you. Seriously, who? Why are you this person?
The Holidaymaker Who Wants To Chat
The least annoying but definitely the most pernicious, you will encounter those on holiday who go out of their way to be friendly. Which is nice! It’s good to be friendly.
However, we go on holiday to spend time with the people we have gone with. We don’t necessarily want an extra few people, somehow grouped together by little more than chance and circumstance. You find yourself being forced to lie to the over-friendly types, just to get the relaxing break you wanted.
Now enjoy those tropical sunsets. After enduring all of the above, you’ve earned them…
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