Most of us remember our teenage years, a time when we thought the whole world was conspiring against us; for some, it was a rollercoaster of extreme emotions, thanks to the hormone storm raging through their veins. Now that you are older and wiser, the cycle of life keeps on turning and your kids are into double figures and they are starting to go through puberty.
Nurture responsibility
The sooner you start giving your kids responsibility, the better; of course, it must be age-suitable; a child should be responsible for their bedroom at the age of 10 and personal hygiene needs to be taught. Be mindful of how you communicate with your kids; keep things positive and be diplomatic when criticising, at the same time, don’t sugarcoat things. A child will remain a child for as long as they are treated as such, so start talking to your teenage kids much like you would an adult. If you are a concerned father to a teenage girl, make her pay a percentage of those festival outfits she orders, then she will appreciate them even more.
Set limits
By nature, teenagers probe to see where the boundaries are, so you should set clear and reasonable limits; maybe 90 minutes online, after the school homework is done, while reminding them of their responsibilities. When setting boundaries, it is always a good idea to ask what they think is fair and to get a consensus, rather than simply telling them where the line is.
Don’t get emotional
You will never beat a teenager in the emotional stakes; be mindful that any emotion you exhibit will feed their emotions, which are up and down at that age. The quickest way to get into a heated argument with a teenager is to get emotional; you are adding fuel to the fire and no one wins. Converse in a calm manner and if you do feel emotions are rising, put some distance between you until you calm down.
Positive reinforcement
Praise is like gold. Tell your kids when they get it right, young people respond well to praise and recognition and always try to spin a positive side to everything. One of the most important things to be mindful of is the way you communicate with your kids, make the effort and you will reap the rewards.
Be a good role model
Children tend to follow what their peers do rather than what they say, so be a good role model; admit your mistakes and if you are always polite, this will rub off on your teenage kids. Discuss this with your partner and check each other regularly and remind them when they are not responding correctly.
Like most things, this turbulent time eventually comes to an end and when your kids reach their 18th birthday, they should be well-balanced people who go on to become useful members of society.
As my kids have grown into their teenage years, I’ve made a conscious effort to treat them more like adults. Engaging them in grown-up conversations, respecting their opinions, and giving them more autonomy has really empowered them and strengthened our relationship.
As my kids have grown into their teenage years, I’ve made a conscious effort to treat them more like adults. Engaging them in grown-up conversations, respecting their opinions, and giving them more autonomy has really empowered them and strengthened our relationship.