Life can be lonely without companionship. The need for belonging, love, and affection is a potent force that shapes various aspects of a person’s life. Whether one admits this inherent need for companionship or not; it exists, and is ingrained within us from the moment we are born.
We all know that the dating game can be tricky, and as time moves on and we grow older, that longing for love can become more intense. Sadly, many singles who want to be in a relationship deep down eventually stop trying to find a companion and lull themselves into a life of quiet desperation and loneliness.
Dating isn’t always fun and games, particularly for mature men and women who want something deep and meaningful, rather than just a fling. Dating after divorce or grief is often a hard step to take. People are often afraid of being hurt again, but what’s important to remember is that dating is a numbers game. Four out of five people you go out with will disappear – but it’s the one in five that counts.
Bringing another dynamic into your family is hard enough – let alone when you already have children, or grandchildren. Sometimes we’re so afraid of change that we just carry on – even if it’s making us unhappy! Don’t let the kids (or grandkids) stop you from finding your soulmate. Think about yourself for once.
Maybe you’ve never been married. You’ve always been single but you’ve always been ok with that. You’ve thrown yourself into your work to suddenly realise you want someone to share life with, to retire with. It’s never too late.
Here are our top tips for a mature man or woman seeking companionship:
You must ask yourself – are you ready?
Whether it’s years after your loved one passed away or months after your divorce was finalised, your head must be in the right place before jumping into dating.
Face the Fear
It can be scary and daunting putting yourself out there in this world you do not know, a world you’re not used too. If you can, try to have fun with it. Accept invites to parties, go along with your friend. Agree to meet the guy your sister always wanted to set you up with. Slowly the fear will go away and you’ll just be left with the excitement – the fun bit!
Be Positive
It’s so easy to have a negative view of yourself, especially if you’ve been through heartache. Don’t fall into the trap of believing no one will love you. To help with your confidence, make sure you’re well groomed and well dressed. A shopping trip and a trip to the hairdresser might make you feel more ready.
Rethink Dating
You need to remember that times have probably changed a lot from when you last dated. Are you going to stick with what you know? Or are you going to go with the times?
Get Online
The last time you dated there probably wasn’t even such thing as the Internet, let alone online dating. But if you were thinking that searching for companionship online is only for a small minority of people, well that’s just not true. Online dating is one of the best ways to widen your search, rather than just hoping that you’ll meet someone in the coffee shop. With sites such as Silver Singles, you won’t have to scroll through endless dating profiles that are totally irrelevant to you. They offer extensive filters that enable you to find the right personality match to give you the best chance of finding a meaningful relationship, as well as keeping you safe throughout the dating process.
Don’t Drag Out Online Contact
Chatting online is great, fun and often easy because you can put your best face on. Make sure you plan to safely meet in a public place as soon as you both feel comfortable with it so as not to waste each other’s time.
Trust Your Friends and Family
Often we don’t want to listen to advice if we’re afraid that it will ruin our happiness. If you’ve been charmed by your date, you may need a sensible force to meet him. A double date is a great idea.
Happily Ever After
Well, that is the plan after all! After months or years enjoying the dating scene, we hope you’ll meet your match; someone to share your hobbies with, someone to walk the dog with, someone to come home to each day. Happy dating and good luck!
After filling out divorce forms I take some time for healing. I think it’s important to have that time for evaluating your life, and understand who you really are. After going through divorce it’s difficult to start dating again, so thanks for advice!