If you and your partner have decided that you are no longer happy together, you may be stressing about how this decision will affect your children. First things first, don’t stress about it, as this will only make things worse. If you and your partner have decided to separate, that’s that. You’ve made the decision, don’t dwell on it.
Each year, thousands of children go through a family divorce. It might be upsetting for them, but with the right help, they will get through it. While every child will be affected by divorce in a different way, there are some simple things that you can do to help make it easier for them to handle.
Tell Them First
Once you and your partner have decided that you want to live apart, the first people that you tell, needs to be your children. The last thing that you want is your child finding out about your separation from someone else. There’s no easy way to break the news, but it’s a good idea that both you and your partner are there. Before you talk to your children, chat with your ex-partner about the best way to broach the subject. It may also be a good idea to practice what you are going to say, so that when the time comes, you can get straight to the point.
Encourage them to Share their Feelings
Obviously this depends on the age of you children, as to how much they will understand. After being told the news, your children may well be upset or angry. No matter how your kids react, don’t tell them off, it’s natural for them to feel hurt, upset and angry. Allow them to express their feelings however they like – stay calm and let them vent.
If they are quiet and don’t say much, they may be bottling up how they are feeling. While understanding how your children are feeling is important, don’t pressure them to talk to you if they don’t want to. Sometimes, kids need time to process things, before they can express how they feel. So make sure to give them that time.
Seek Professional Help
Even if you and your partner are amicable about your divorce, it’s still a good idea to seek professional help. Your children will find your separation easier to deal with if things move quickly, as it will be a lot less unsettling. The best way to ensure that this happens is by getting some expert help. To get an agreed custody agreement in place, it’s a good idea to consult a solicitor, like, family law solicitors, Bannister Preston. By doing this, you can ensure that your separation and divorce are dealt with as painlessly as possible.
Take your Child to a Therapist
While you may think that your kids are coping well, it’s a good idea to take your child to see a therapist. This will allow them to voice any worries or concerns that they don’t want to share with your or your ex-partner. When it comes to choosing a therapist, make sure to vet them thoroughly. If you have friends or family who have gone through a divorce, ask them for a recommendation for a therapist. It’s important to choose someone who you think that your child will be able to relate to and will be happy to talk to.
Separation is never easy for children. However, by taking note of these tips, you can make your separation a little less stressful for them.
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