You know the saying if you can imagine it, it exists? Well, when it comes to the Internet of Things, if you can connect it to the Internet, it will connect. Amazon’s Alexa and Google’s AI has revolutionized the way we see the products in our home, and we’re one step closer to making Star Trek’s Computer and food replicator a reality. (No word on the holodeck, no matter how hard PlayStation pushes its VR games).

Unfortunately, our path towards building these things is littered with devices that don’t make the same impression. We’re talking useless gadgets that have no need of connecting with the Internet or speaking to us like it’s a discount version of Iron Man’s JARVIS. Let’s take a look at the weird and useless devices that no wise individual would call smart.

Quirky Egg Minder

Have you ever wondered how many eggs you have but didn’t want to open the refrigerator door to check? Well, then this gadget was made for you — and probably only you. The egg minder is a digitized egg tray that synchs up with your iPhone or Android so you can keep a close watch on eggs.

With a single tap of your finger—admittedlyeasier than pulling at the fridge door — the app lets you see how many eggs you still have and which ones are on their way to going bad. Though it may seem like a device that will solve all of the overworked mothers and lazy couch potatoes problems, the Quirky Egg Minder has only 2 and a half stars on Amazon.

Toasteroid

Breakfast is a pretty boring part of the day where most of us angst over our impending 8 hour work shift, but rather than accept this and move on with their lives, the people behind Toasteroid have created a way to distract you from your morning existential dread. The Toasteroid lets you burn or toast a design of your choice into your bread.

It’s marketed as a fun way to reconnect with friends and family over the breakfast table. We’re not sure why you’d send an edible message about paying the bills when you could just tell them as you watch them eat their toast. Terrible name aside, the Toasteroid has some merit as a child’s toy, albeit an expensive one.

Vibrating Connected Jeans

We’re leaving the kitchen behind for your wardrobe with the smart pants from Spinali Design. They’ve created a line of denim that’s equipped with vibrating sensors synched up to your smartphone. Any time you receive a text, call, or important message on your Android, the sensors embedded in the waistband will buzz.

Maybe we can understand a market for important professionals who have a terrible habit of missing critical notifications when their phones are in their pocket or bag, but we can’t see the purpose of the denim’s secondary function: its navigation feature. Spinali says their sensors will help you “navigate through your urban journeys” as it vibrates to inform you to take a right or left. We want to know how waiting for tremors in your pants that tell you where to go is easier than simply looking at Google Maps.

Though just 3 examples of smart devices gone mad, the Quirky Egg Minder, Toasteroid, and Vibrating Connected Jeans reveal an alarming trend in the products we buy for our homes. An increasing number of supposedly smart gadgets are hitting the shelves with no real purpose beyond novelty. They aren’t solving pressing issues with household management but they are making previously cheap accessories into considerable purchases.

That’s not to say there aren’t a variety of smart devices that are changing our lives for the better. For every manufacturer making unnecessary gadgets, there are innovative engineers devoting their lives to helpful code that powers the AI in your Pixel. Things you’ll want to protect and stylize the more you use them. When it comes to professional protection, the designers behind dbrand skins can offer reliable and fashionable accessories for a variety of gadgets.

Take a look at their catalogue to see why dbrand has the best skins for your phones, tablets, and wearables. Whether you go for a carbon fiber iPhone decal or a dragon Pixel skin, you’ll have a premium made wrap that will keep your device safe.

There’s just one caveat. These skins are reserved for the best gadgets, so don’t expect to outfit your egg minder or toaster in a slick new decal. They know better than to accessorize a failing device — which is what all of these products are, after all. Once the novelty wears off, we won’t be hearing about these appliances again, and we’ll go back to counting our eggs the good old fashioned way.